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Mastering Your Emotions: Create your own experience! ….Here’s how

“The quality of your emotions is the quality of your life.” - Tony Robbins

Hey!  This is an insight a client gained from a recent coaching conversation I absolutely HAVE TO share with you.   It’s powerful.  (and Brenda said I could share! ;)

We were talking about how being intentional about the experience we create every single day truly does equal the experience of our lives.    Brick by brick.   Day by day. 

Your life experience – whether that be joyful or miserable, or anywhere in between – you create for yourself.   Daily.

That’s not the full insight yet - and you’re going to want to read where she took it from there… but just let that sink in first.   YOU are responsible for creating your own experience of life.   No one else.  You.   It’s radical self-responsibility…and it’s real.

So many people (let’s be honest, every single one of us) is susceptible to some degree of allowing other peoples behaviours, actions, or words impact us negatively.   Maybe it’s in traffic, at work, in a store, at home, on the street – wherever.  It’s nearly impossible not to.

However, you remain responsible for your own reactions.   Your own emotions.   Your own story.  

It’s the key message in Victor Frankl’s deeply important book, “Man’s Search for Meaning” that he wrote after spending 3 years in 4 different concentration camps during WWII… That we choose our response in that miniscule space between the stimulus, and how we choose to react.   That space is where emotional intelligence lives.

Too often our response is automatic and subpar.    This leads to our experience of life being neutral or even negative overall – which is a shame, because it’s a choice. 

Tony Robbins' term ‘Emotional Home’ touches on this as well…the emotions and moods that you’ve learned to inhabit as your default mode.   Believe me (and Tony!) – changing your emotional home is not something that is easy.   Yet it is worthwhile work.

…back to Brenda's insight.   She went on to say that following our discussion that something clicked for her.  

She connected it to her own story she tells herself.   And she went on to say that you can actually be much more deliberate about how you tell your own stories – to self and to others.   The words matter.   And the person who is listening most is your subconscious self!   Therefore, you had better tell the stories (to self and others) with the deliberate intention of creating the lived experience that you want.

She concluded, “It would be sad if you told the story of your life and it didn’t include joy.”  

Wow!  What a deeply impactful statement and insight she shared.   Beautiful.

Now apply it to your own situation.    What’s the story you are telling yourself and others about your daily lived experience.   Is it joyful?   Is it ‘meh’?   Is it adventurous?   Is it “Busy”?   Stressed?  Sad? Boring? Is it passing the days to get to retirement?     Scarcity? Not feeling like "enough"?   That what you really want isn’t available to you?   Or, maybe ‘someday’?

Best be careful about what story you hold close and rehearse daily – even unknowingly.   Awareness here is so important.  Because the one listening closest is ... YOU! And the universe ALWAYS picks up what you're puttin' down.

Creating your life experience is a great secret that very few ever master.   And it’s sitting right there in front of you.  Waiting to be tapped.  

Try this… Identify an emotion that you want to feel even more of.  Name it.  Now channel it so that you feel it.   Right now.   You control your emotions.   Replay a wonderful memory of when you felt it in past.  Or play a song that always brings it to life for you.

For fun – my song right now is a live version of “Take it to the limit” by the Eagles, live at The LA Forum in 1976 on YouTube.   The whole song is sung with so much heart and energy.   Especially the part at the end when band member Randy Meisner (RIP) hits his high falsetto and holds it…and the live audience feels it and erupts.   What a moment.  Pure.  Beauty.

Moments like this consistently remind me how life is supposed to be experienced.

Now carry your chosen feeling through tomorrow morning by writing yourself a reminder to channel it again before you start your daily tasks and work.   Recall more memories of when that desired emotion showed up for you.   Create a reminder to channel that consistently through the day.   It’s not sexy, but this is the work!  

What IS sexy about that is learning to channel those intentionally desired emotions more consistently and actually living the experience you create for yourself.  With joy, laughter, peace, ease, happiness, confidence, clarity, and all the other positive emotions that deliver the life you feel most proud of.

This is how it is built.   Brick by brick.  Day by day.

I just dropped it in your lap.   Now what will you do with it?

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