What's REALLY Getting in the Way

4 days ago
2 min read

I’ve got a crush on a formula. Yeah, that’s a bit weird to say…but it’s true!

The formula for change is one of the simplest and most powerful ways to understand what it actually takes to create lasting change.

Whether that’s changing a habit, changing your health habits, changing how you work, changing how you grow your relationship. Change…. it has a formula for success!

C = D x V x FS > R

Change requires dissatisfaction (D) with the current state. Change requires that you have vision of you want (V). And change asks that you figure out what the few small first steps (FS) are to get started. And when those three are strong enough, they must still overcome the resistance (R) in your way.

And the Resistance piece is what I find the most fascinating. Rarely does someone understand with enough clarity and depth what their resistance is.

Need for certainty; perfectionism; people-pleasing; self-doubt; overthinking; below average self-worth; emotional avoidance; troubles in your relationship; high stress; overwhelm; poor sleeps; low energy / poor health – these are just some of the most powerful resistances that team up to get in your way!

One of my recent clients has a history of friction in her leadership & communication. Together, we uncovered that approval-seeking behaviour was still operating strongly in the background (for years!) …fear of rejection had its hands on the steering wheel when moments mattered most.

We dug in. I asked powerful questions – she gave powerful answers. She started to see the pattern more clearly and is working to more quickly recognize it when it shows up. As a result, she is having the necessary conversations, she is leading more powerfully in the moments that matter most, and she is elevating her leadership and her team’s results.

Now, a blog is no place to try and remedy these things. It takes deeper reflection, seeing your own thinking patterns (with the help of a good coach), and finding new habits and actions that help overcome the biggest pieces of resistance, so that you can boldly move forward in the direction of your goals. Change! …for the better.

For you - a few questions to consider:

What feels harder than it should right now? (in health, relationship, work, fun, etc)
Where do you feel stuck currently, even though you have a good idea of what to do?
What are you avoiding or putting off that’s been on your radar a while?
What would you do differently over the next month if nothing was in your way? (imagine ZERO resistance!)
What’s the cost of the same old pattern continuing? (really think about this one! – a few answers)

Overcoming resistance is where it’s at.

For most people, dissatisfaction, vision, and even first steps come fairly quickly. But resistance… that’s the real game.

And once you see it clearly, things start to move. Breakthroughs happen.

Sometimes a single conversation is all it takes to unlock that next level.

If you’re feeling stuck, reach out. Let’s find what’s really getting in the way.

If you would like a complimentary conversation to dive deeper, book 30 or 60 here.