F*CK Performing… Three Things I’m Finally Done With (And Maybe You Are Too)

Chasing the Wind...

I’m gonna write whatever TF I want.

Things are shifting for me currently.  

Expanding more.  And I’d like to share this with you for 2 reasons….

1) I always practice what I preach – and one of the key things related to this is ‘integration’.  

Basically, the more time I discuss, write, practice, coach certain topics, the deeper they live within me.  So this piece gives me that opportunity to deepen on this, as I share something of value with you.

And,

2) I’m learning from my marketing mentor that the more I write whatever it is that’s on my heart & mind, and that gives me energy and inspiration to do so, is what I’m “supposed to” be writing about.  

How about that hey?!   Writing for myself means a more inspired message…which leads to more gripping stories and language… which leads to more impact.  

That’s drastically different than writing for others and trying to predict and guess what people want to read…and what will gain their attention.  And then worse - training myself to (over)think and worry whether it’s received well.   And allow my worth and value to be hitched to that.   Yuck – that gives me anxiety to think that I’ve done that for so long.   Oh well… growth.   Moving on then…

I’m going to stop doing 3 things, and I want you to stop doing them too:

1.      Chasing others’ approval, validation and attention.   Chasing the wind. Primarily, for me, this shows up in my social media and also my need to have all of my live groups “super satisfied” with every group meeting.   I know they mostly are b/c I run a really strong group with amazing people…but I could let go of worry about HOW MUCH they take away from it.   After all, it’s THEIR journey and work to do, not mine.  

I’ll keep bringing massive value and the best of myself…but not with the energy of needing to perform (root cause: fear).   But with the energy of love, caring, support (for where YOU are), and much less attachment to outcome. 

2.      Filling  every fricken moment of my day with something that feels like I’m chasing a dopamine (‘good enough’) check mark when I’m done it.  Chasing the wind. I’ve exhausted myself over the years and burnt out over and over (it’s been much better with this passion business I will add – clue!)… and my new line I love is “Stillness before Strategy”.  

In my last business, I chased it.  It was definitely HUSTLE before strategy… with zero stillness.   I did so many of the unimportant things.   Tried to finish a low quality to-do list each day.   No mind-shutoff-switch.   Mediocre productivity at best.   And started to loathe it.

Moving forward it doesn’t mean I won’t continue to be more and more strategic & aligned – it just means that I’ll guard my energy, purpose and schedule with more intentional stillness and white space moving forward.  It’s foreign to me still to think of stillness before strategy.  Therein lies the work.

3.      Waiting.   Waiting for the perfect time to take a holiday.   Waiting for my next big breakthrough.   Waiting for a mentor’s or podcaster’s permission before I try something ‘out of the box’ or growth oriented.  Waiting for a ‘comfortable’ level certainty before I take a leap or challenge myself to new heights.  

If I keep waiting … I’ll die before I’m done here.

The “me” I’ll be most proud of when I’m 85 is the one who takes more calculated risks and speaks with even more courage.   Who lives and loves and laughs with even more of himself.   Who risks being wrong more, as long as I’m open to better evidence and opinions than ones I currently hold.   Live life as an adventure, not simply to make it to then end with someone else’s or society's definition of “successful”.

So…will you join me in letting go of one of these?

Even just one?  The one that’s whispering to you right now?

Make it yours. Make it real. You don’t need permission.

As Anaïs Nin wrote:

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

Let’s expand.