It Never Belonged to You in the First Place!
- Coach Chris
- Jul 30
- 3 min read
Sometimes the biggest breakthrough isn’t learning something new... it’s unlearning what never belonged to you in the first place.
I just got back from a week in Alberta to attend what was called a “retreat.” Except... it wasn’t. It felt more like Navy SEAL Hell Week than a retreat. It’s called The Hoffman Process and I fricken LOVED IT.
Our phones were taken away for the week so we could fully unplug and go inward. That part was alot easier than I thought it would be. I did not miss the tether to the phone.
The Hoffman Process is a week-long deep dive into the patterns we picked up early in life... the patterns we didn’t choose but still live by.
Patterns like impatience, perfectionism, self-judgement (inner critic/asshole), anxiety, depression, over-function, overwhelm, scarcity/fear of poverty, needing to be ‘right’ / win / have the last word, bury emotions, feeling small or ‘not enough’, low tolerance for frustration, never satisfied, never finished & cramming in tasks to every last spare minute, waiting for it all to go wrong, over reactive, avoidance of hard convos or tasks, people pleasing, controlling, needing to feel important, shame, projecting onto others, etc., etc. The list goes on and on.
Through guided practices, emotional release, deeply challenging exercises, and honest reflection, you explore the roots of how you think, react, and show up. It’s not about fixing yourself... it’s about remembering who you are underneath the old programming. By the end, most people walk out clearer, lighter, and more connected to their own being & truth.
You might be thinking, “Oh that’s not for me.” Then again... maybe it’s exactly what you need.
My Top 5 Takeaways from the Hoffman Process
1. My patterns from my parents still drive my behaviour when I’m “below the line”... not acting as my best self. And let’s be honest... most of us live below the line most of the time. Hoffman uses the terms “left road” and “right road” to explain this. It’s basically our reactive selves vs. our calm, conscious, responsible selves.
2. Gifting myself forgiveness for my mom... what she did, who she was, and the trauma she passed on to me and my brother... has been invaluable. It’s important to share this: It is not forgotten, but it is forgiven. I’ve let go of the blame & suffering.
3. I’ve learned that I can tap into my best self... my essence... my Spirit Self... whenever I choose to. And that this frequent practice feels tremendous.
4. I started to unwind the anxious buzz from my mind & intellect always trying to out-think, over-function, and overpower the rest of my body. I now have a better understanding of how the mind, emotions, body, and spirit are each meant to play their part... working together like a well-oiled, aligned, high-performance team all pulling in the same direction.
5. Gratitude truly is our superpower we all carry inside. It’s one practice we can access anytime, anywhere... and it helps bring us back above the line and into optimism. It’s shocking how underused it is.
As our instructors kept reminding us… ‘The real work begins when you leave.’
It’s not about ‘fixing’ yourself. You're not broken.
It's about seeing your patterns clearly... understanding where they came from... and choosing, with compassion and courage, a new way forward. That feels so much lighter.
Hoffman isn’t for the half-committed. It’s for those ready to do some of the hardest, most honest work of their lives... for themselves. And those they love.
That was the hardest week I’ll ever love.
I’m beyond grateful to my friend and fellow coach Marc for nudging me toward it. That week changed me... and I’ll carry it with me for the rest of my climb.
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